When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.
~ William Shakespeare
A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from from a guy I “met” on Plenty Of Fish. I was excited to talk with him because, in addition to sounding like a cool person, he lives just a couple of miles down the road from me – making him, in dating jargon, “GD” (geographically desirable). This was the part of his profile that was especially intriguing.
I’m looking for a sensitive, caring and passionate partner who is into spiritual discovery, unraveling how this universe works, and who can think abstractly. Intelligence, wit and sense of humor are the traits I look for first. If you still have a little rock-chick left in you, all the better. Inquisitive, deep thinkers apply within.
If that doesn’t describe me, I don’t know what does. Rock-chick and all.
Our first phone chat went well, I thought. I guess he did too, because he followed up with this message on POF.
I really enjoyed our conversation today, very much so…I will admit that I am a little giddy at the prospect. Imagine being this close; cool, huh? I KNOW we will have lots to talk about as you definitely have the intellect I am seeking. But let’s live in the now for now. Kay? Kay.
I believe he was trying to be complimentary. So why did this message leave me feeling insulted, like he was my superior and I had passed some kind of test? And why the little caveat at the end? Why bother to ask a question and then answer it for me?
Still, I offered him the appropriate reassurances. And followed his instructions (I’m not making this up) to wait for him to call again.
Because that’s what all proper young ladies do, right?
A full seven days later, he rang me again – after he emailed me to get my phone number, which he had somehow misplaced. This time things weren’t so pleasant. As a matter of fact, it felt more like an interview than a conversation. He grilled me about my past love interests – he has been divorced for just over a year and on the dating site for just a few weeks, whereas I have been at this for almost eleven years now – and at one point asked me if I thought there was some defect in MYSELF that ultimately led to the demise of those relationships. As a matter of fact, I think the opposite is true; I am easy to get along with and in many instances have stayed in unbearable situations much longer than I should have. But I replied, “Yes, I am a terribly flawed person and I am really looking forward to engaging in a dysfunctional relationship with you and the painful breakup that is sure to follow.” He laughed and said he had enjoyed talking with me again and would like to chat with me at least once or twice more before arranging a face to face meeting.
I left those calls unanswered. Because really, what is the point?